IT Bash In India- A Lions Tale !

This Is Not My Work.. Came Across In A Social-Networking Site.. And Personally That I Don Like Much Of IT Companies, I Thought I Should Post In Here :) No Offences Meant :)

COMPANIES FOLLOW THE FOLLOWING METHODS:





COGNIZANT Method:

hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.

give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.

hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit

give them same gobi 65 to eat

hire 200 more....... and more .......





TCS method:





hire a lion

give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary

lion dies of hunger and frustration





Accenture Method:





Hire a lion....

Send him to chennai

Ask him to stay on bench for a long time

Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada

No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...

No good food, No water.

And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".

Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......





IBM's metbod:





hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...

he dies of unemployment...





Syntel Method:-





Hire a Cat ...

assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and

make sure that he never reaches onsite.

Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....





MBT method:





hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score

60% he will lose the job.

lion dies of the strain?





i-Flex method:





hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari

for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes





alive he will get band movement (promotion)

holy cow dies in fear of the real lion





COSL Method:





hire a lion .

tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...

lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....





Polaris Method :





hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..

change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )

cut down his allowance (coupons etc)

lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....





Capgemini method:





hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...

the lion dies before joining.... *





Wipro Method:*

Hire a Lion,

give him a mail Id.

he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!! *





HUAWEI* Method:





Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...

Give him work of 3 Lions

Tell him to work late and even on weekends...

No time for food and family, automatically die ****





*PERSISTENT METHOD*





hire Lions from all over from country ...

Ask them to work in cage at pune office only..

lions feel as if they are cat ...

and die..





*PATNI* Method:





After joining when the Lion comes to know the full form of PATNI as …

… Pathetic Appraisal Technique & No Increment

Tell him to work late and even on weekends...

He gets frustrated and dies slowly …*





THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST* *

INFOSYS METHOD:*

HIRE A LION.....

SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE

...............................................KING OF THE JUNGLE! J





MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM

...............................................LION TURNS INTO CAT

MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM

...............................................CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE





SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG

...............................................MOUSE RUNS HERE AND

THERE FOR HELP !!!

SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS

...............................................MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE

... :-) :-) :-)





~~>>> This is how software engineers die in India
P.S : This is Merely a joke , and i dont intend to offend anyone in anyway. . .

Read And Relish Again NOT My Work :)

Peer pressure..

The most simplest form of peer pressure.. Commonly known and usually observed.. Smoking, Drinking And Drugs.. Rightly They have already said.. "The One Who Runs Behind Women, Wealth And Wine Is Never Going To Be stable In Life.." To All Those lovely people who believe that, No this is not possible in today's scenario, please understand it is.. Students drink and smoke.. of course, drugs is a bit uncommon comparing the other two..

An Addiction is always an addiction.. Be it from logging on to facebook, Texting in mobile, or liking facebook status..

Going back to the topic, peer pressure is a strong phenomena.. It must probably flash-on all warning lights in the parent's dashboard.. No matter how strong you mentally are the people whom you are with, will have some or the other effect on you, your personality, behavior, attitude and mindset..

"Tell me your friend and I'll Tell you who you are..." Is the famous quote and it holds good even today...

In fact today the scenario is even worse.. In colleges even relationships are based on peer pressure.. 'My gang, everyone is commited.. Oh my God, My friends might think I'm gay.. ' With the same mindset they end up crossing all limits, simply speaking Acting In Haste And Repenting In leisure..

In simple words, Don't bend to peer pressure.. take it in the positive sense.. See the better part of your friends and try to be the best of their better.. And Then You Will Have The World To Applaud You For The Miles Traversed..

So Whats Your Major??

Yet Another Nostalgic Day Of The Year.. When I Find That M Entering My Pre-Final Year..

I Am Actually Wondering What I Learnt..In The Whole Two Year Span... (Which Actually Is Less Than Two Years.. )

When They Told Me To Choose A Branch I Thought That I Should Take Such A Branch Which Involves Specialization Over A Narrow Range.. With Not Hovering About Many Things In General Rather Going In Detail Even In The Smallest Aspect.. Like I Could Help Anyone Who Wants Information In That Subject..

I'll Be Frank.. Growing Up I Never Imagined Myself Anything Else than Engineer.. Like Vignesh Said..I've Had Many Passions Though... Like People Say they've Had Many Crushes But Ultimately End Up In One True Commitment.. Bad Comparison eh..?? Never Mind.. Relationship-psychology Never Goes Out Of My Head..

Getting Back.. To What I wanted To Say.. Its Like I wanted To Specialise in It.. I Came Into My Subject.. They Asked Me To Say Some Innovative Ideas... I Said Something About An Automatic Speed Control Vehicle.. Its Still My Greatest Dream To Build A Completely Automated Car For The Blind.... :) Hopefully Someday :) :)

And I Told Them The Previous Attempts Made On The Same.. Why It Failed.. And Why Model Was Better... They Simply Said.. For This Component.. You Need To See the Electrical specifications.. U Need To Consult Em.. For This .. Why Don't You Build A Programmed Chip.. Which Works On Timers And All??

The Real Point Is.. Scenario Of Engineering Is never About Your Subject...

You Need To Know The Best Of Everything... I Used To Say When Anyone Asks Me

"Oh, M Doing My Automobile Engineering.. Pre-final Year"

Now I Feel Its Better To Say

"Oh, M Doing My Engineering, Major In Automobiles.. Pre-Final Year"

It IS True...

Engineering Is Never About Your Subject.. Its About Science...

Realise Beyond Your Barriers..

Regards,

Swathi.I