IT Bash In India- A Lions Tale !

This Is Not My Work.. Came Across In A Social-Networking Site.. And Personally That I Don Like Much Of IT Companies, I Thought I Should Post In Here :) No Offences Meant :)

COMPANIES FOLLOW THE FOLLOWING METHODS:





COGNIZANT Method:

hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.

give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.

hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit

give them same gobi 65 to eat

hire 200 more....... and more .......





TCS method:





hire a lion

give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary

lion dies of hunger and frustration





Accenture Method:





Hire a lion....

Send him to chennai

Ask him to stay on bench for a long time

Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada

No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...

No good food, No water.

And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".

Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......





IBM's metbod:





hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...

he dies of unemployment...





Syntel Method:-





Hire a Cat ...

assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and

make sure that he never reaches onsite.

Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....





MBT method:





hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score

60% he will lose the job.

lion dies of the strain?





i-Flex method:





hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari

for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes





alive he will get band movement (promotion)

holy cow dies in fear of the real lion





COSL Method:





hire a lion .

tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...

lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....





Polaris Method :





hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..

change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )

cut down his allowance (coupons etc)

lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....





Capgemini method:





hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...

the lion dies before joining.... *





Wipro Method:*

Hire a Lion,

give him a mail Id.

he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!! *





HUAWEI* Method:





Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...

Give him work of 3 Lions

Tell him to work late and even on weekends...

No time for food and family, automatically die ****





*PERSISTENT METHOD*





hire Lions from all over from country ...

Ask them to work in cage at pune office only..

lions feel as if they are cat ...

and die..





*PATNI* Method:





After joining when the Lion comes to know the full form of PATNI as …

… Pathetic Appraisal Technique & No Increment

Tell him to work late and even on weekends...

He gets frustrated and dies slowly …*





THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST* *

INFOSYS METHOD:*

HIRE A LION.....

SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE

...............................................KING OF THE JUNGLE! J





MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM

...............................................LION TURNS INTO CAT

MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM

...............................................CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE





SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG

...............................................MOUSE RUNS HERE AND

THERE FOR HELP !!!

SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS

...............................................MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE

... :-) :-) :-)





~~>>> This is how software engineers die in India
P.S : This is Merely a joke , and i dont intend to offend anyone in anyway. . .

Read And Relish Again NOT My Work :)

Peer pressure..

The most simplest form of peer pressure.. Commonly known and usually observed.. Smoking, Drinking And Drugs.. Rightly They have already said.. "The One Who Runs Behind Women, Wealth And Wine Is Never Going To Be stable In Life.." To All Those lovely people who believe that, No this is not possible in today's scenario, please understand it is.. Students drink and smoke.. of course, drugs is a bit uncommon comparing the other two..

An Addiction is always an addiction.. Be it from logging on to facebook, Texting in mobile, or liking facebook status..

Going back to the topic, peer pressure is a strong phenomena.. It must probably flash-on all warning lights in the parent's dashboard.. No matter how strong you mentally are the people whom you are with, will have some or the other effect on you, your personality, behavior, attitude and mindset..

"Tell me your friend and I'll Tell you who you are..." Is the famous quote and it holds good even today...

In fact today the scenario is even worse.. In colleges even relationships are based on peer pressure.. 'My gang, everyone is commited.. Oh my God, My friends might think I'm gay.. ' With the same mindset they end up crossing all limits, simply speaking Acting In Haste And Repenting In leisure..

In simple words, Don't bend to peer pressure.. take it in the positive sense.. See the better part of your friends and try to be the best of their better.. And Then You Will Have The World To Applaud You For The Miles Traversed..

So Whats Your Major??

Yet Another Nostalgic Day Of The Year.. When I Find That M Entering My Pre-Final Year..

I Am Actually Wondering What I Learnt..In The Whole Two Year Span... (Which Actually Is Less Than Two Years.. )

When They Told Me To Choose A Branch I Thought That I Should Take Such A Branch Which Involves Specialization Over A Narrow Range.. With Not Hovering About Many Things In General Rather Going In Detail Even In The Smallest Aspect.. Like I Could Help Anyone Who Wants Information In That Subject..

I'll Be Frank.. Growing Up I Never Imagined Myself Anything Else than Engineer.. Like Vignesh Said..I've Had Many Passions Though... Like People Say they've Had Many Crushes But Ultimately End Up In One True Commitment.. Bad Comparison eh..?? Never Mind.. Relationship-psychology Never Goes Out Of My Head..

Getting Back.. To What I wanted To Say.. Its Like I wanted To Specialise in It.. I Came Into My Subject.. They Asked Me To Say Some Innovative Ideas... I Said Something About An Automatic Speed Control Vehicle.. Its Still My Greatest Dream To Build A Completely Automated Car For The Blind.... :) Hopefully Someday :) :)

And I Told Them The Previous Attempts Made On The Same.. Why It Failed.. And Why Model Was Better... They Simply Said.. For This Component.. You Need To See the Electrical specifications.. U Need To Consult Em.. For This .. Why Don't You Build A Programmed Chip.. Which Works On Timers And All??

The Real Point Is.. Scenario Of Engineering Is never About Your Subject...

You Need To Know The Best Of Everything... I Used To Say When Anyone Asks Me

"Oh, M Doing My Automobile Engineering.. Pre-final Year"

Now I Feel Its Better To Say

"Oh, M Doing My Engineering, Major In Automobiles.. Pre-Final Year"

It IS True...

Engineering Is Never About Your Subject.. Its About Science...

Realise Beyond Your Barriers..

Regards,

Swathi.I

Every Dog Has

Ultimately Every Dog Has Its Day.... !! :)

Everyone is worth something in life...

Check Out This Intresting CV....Cum Job Application Letter :D

We Might Feel For A Second, What Is This Guy Worth????

We Spend Whole Of Life Clearing Every Sem... At The End Of Which On A Sunny Day We Are Proclaimed As An Engineer!!!!

We Forget What Even The Subjects were Near The End.....

But We Are Engineer...

We Fail To Distinguish Between A Blind Mans Stick And A Theodolite.. :P

But We Are Engineer.....

Ultimately, Every Dog Has Its Day...!!

Guess Where The Guy Is Now.....

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INFOTECH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After All

Every Dog Has Its Day......!!

Research... A Search Redefined!

Scientists Are Not Extra Ordinary People.. They Just Think Differently!!!!

So people Have Such Opinions!!! :D

We Know That We Are Intelligent .. We Know that we can do Things.... But Where And What Is The Channel For This.... How Can I Put My Discovery???

I Remember Many Geeks Telling Me.... "....bla bla bla... This Is My Theory!! Now How Do I Proceed???"

Guys Remember... Ideas are Like Shoes... (no offense) Everyone Has A Pair Of It.... what We Need To Do Is Make It Practically Possible... What My Vice-Chancellor Calls As Social Engineering- Engineering For The Society :)

Thats True... Engineering must Get Beyond Books... It Must Come Into Life.... See, For A Common man May Be Transformers Was Just A Movie... He May Comment On The Music , Screenplay And Stuffs... What A mechanical Engineer would See In That Is Machines... In a Way The same Version Of Things Presented to people Makes Them Understand Where their intrests lie....

So You Have A theory... after you watched some awesome movie like 3 idiots ( My Favourite :)) So You Have the fire inside To Create Something....??? Get Beyond The Books And Get A Life???

Welcome To The World Of Hell!!!!!!

I'm not being pessimistic and absolutely dont give you the promise that things are going to be all right... no things are not... In This work, You are going to fall... fall down a hell lot of times... people may stumble before you... they might even crush you and move ahead... they might even dig you deep in the earth.....!

ERR... Just A Sec...

Remember The Spring Concept... How Hard It Is Pressed It Would Rise Up... Thats The Way You Are Going To Be!!!!!!!

Methodolgy Of Work : :

They Cannot Be Numbered Or Just said ... Coz Innovations And Discoveries Are Self-developed skills...

But First Read A Lot Of Materials.... Go For The Famous Institutes research Websites... Journals... Core Books... Youtube Videos On How Stuffs Works....

Theoretically have An idea on how stuffs are going to work in your project.....

Find what are all the most practical difficulties in your project... try to solve them...

Find A group of people who can help and assist you....

Find A Good Institution To Whom You Can Submit Your Project....

I've put it in the shortest way... Remember it s not as easy as it sounds...

Dont ever dream of doing research in hi-tech labs and all... Whatever the situation be, Its your ideas that are going to matter.... :) :)

Hopefully My Post Would Have Helped You...

Regards,

Sti :)

What not to do as an engineer..

Growing up, I never thought of becoming anything but an Engineer.Those were the days where families like mine provided only two choices,Engineering or Medicine.There were times when people would hold my hands as a kid,draw me close and ask what i wanted to become when I wanted to grow up and before i could come up with an answer they would give me choices: Engineer or Doctor? I'd say with a really big smile that I wanted to become a Computer Engineer.I still do not know what i was thinking at all those countless moments I chose to be a Computer Engineer.Though the choices seem so narrow and absurd today,it appears that I really wanted to be an Engineer, or let me put this way, I did not want to become a doctor.There were times we used to ask each other in class what we aimed at becoming.Usually the first day in every grade that I came through was meant to be self-introduction classes.There were teachers who revised alphabets for the whole of first week,which thankfully stopped with class six.Coming back,those self-introductory classes too found me choosing Engineering.I looked up at people who proudly proclaimed that they wanted to become police officers,pilots and collectors.Well,in short I grew up thinking Engineering is cool and Engineers are super heroes who saved the day.As the wheel spun I entered high school and I  thought it was time to decide on career,whatever I thought it meant that day. Through the ages,I took up a liking for Mathematics and Science,Physics to be precise.But then,like for Mechanical Engineering anything that moved did not inspire me.I thought all Aeronautical Engineers became pilots or astronauts and I ruled it out as I wanted to become neither.Higher Secondary school and I had to choose between three streams Computer Science,Biology and Commerce.I definitely did not want to become a Doctor and hence Bio was out.I had no clue about Commerce and hence I ended up choosing Computer Science.There came THE point where i had to pick a college and course.That was either probably one of the worst decisions I made or I turned a wonderful opportunity into one such devastating choice.This will be answered in the future.I picked Electronics and Communication Engineering(ECE).This was(is) supposed to be the creamiest of the courses and everyone I knew were doing ECE and I did not know which one to choose! And I admit I picked Electronics without being sure of what the consequences would be.That crashed for  numerous reasons,or I presumed it did.Now I am here after having chosen something that I wanted to become,Computer Science Engineering.

Inference(s):

The first line of this post is the best lie an Engineer can come up with.

You can see that the choices I made were based on what i did not like and not on what I liked.This is something that I wouldn't advise you to do.Thankfully the accidental charm lasted till higher secondary atleast till it came crashing down at college.

Always think of science as means of living and not as a part of life.Science in itself is a life that is visible only to those who live and admire it.Happy,honoured and proud to be one among the many.

Commerce is for those with lesser marks is a complete bullshit and I badly want that myth to change.Commerce is a brilliant field and people die to become experts and attain excellence in that field.

Always have short term goals,work on them.

Do not make choices when you are happy or emotional.

Hear everyone but listen only to the learned.

Have passion and never lose hope.Follow these two and you'll be thankful one day.

Never assume anything in your life.Failure and reality slaps you right on the face.

As a being,one have to endure failure at some point or the other.Cry but act upon failure.

Constantly try to achieve excellence.Success will follow.

Fall in love with Mathematics or forget being a good Engineer.

Swear to contribute atleast the slightest to the field you study.Never forget your teachers and most importantly the lessons you learnt.

Life can only be understood backwards.Never try to connect the dots beforehand.

Appreciate science.

Learn,love and live.

Always remember what not to do as an Engineer..

PS:You'd have noticed that the words Engineer and Engineering begin with caps in the entire post.The stress is to stress that I love Engineering and I'm happy that I call myself an Engineer.I cannot imagine myself doing anything other than Engineering.I forgive myself for all the poor choices I made for life is but a learning process.

 

Myths Of Engineering :)

Two incidents drove me to write this article. In the first incident, a woman wished that her son became a “Mechatronics Engineer” (Mechatronics deals with the mechanical and electronics principles applied together). She explained that “Robotics” is the future of the world (guess Steven Spielberg has had some influence over her) and “Mechatronics Engineers” would be in great demand in future. She thought her son could build a robot on graduating.

In the second incident, a student from my school got into an IIT recently. One of my schoolteachers mentioned this and added: “He is a brilliant student who is well-planned. He has started preparations to sit for GMAT after his engineering.” GMAT is an examination to get into management schools (primarily in the U.S. and several other English-speaking nations). My teacher believes that engineering, followed by a management course, is a good option.

In this article, I try to make clear some facts about ‘engineering' — facts which will prove the above (and some other) expectations and beliefs to be far from reality.

ENGINEERS ARE SUPER-HUMANS

People do not understand the reality of ‘engineering.' For them, engineers are “super-humans” who build rockets, robots, electric vehicles and the like. The reason is that when a person says he works on a satellite project, people jump to the conclusion that he knows every detail of building a satellite. In reality, no engineer can know the entire details of projects. For example, it requires people from various disciplines such as electrical, mechanical, chemical and materials engineering to design an electric car.

Since the common man has the “super-human” view in mind, he generally does not accept or appreciate many of the “real” engineering works. For example, a home inverter might not bring about any awe to the common man as does an electric vehicle (though both might be equally challenging to build), because he often finds a technician setting right the problems in a home inverter. The technician just knows by experience what to do, whereas an engineer knows why it has to be done.

ENGINEERING IS MORE VALUABLE THAN SCIENCE

First, I will clarify the difference between ‘science' and ‘engineering' through a simple example. The study of optics of materials will fall under science. Scientists (physicists, in this case) will try to explain the optical properties which different materials possess. If someone tries to use the optical properties to make a microscope or a camera, he will be an engineer. Scientists establish facts which engineers exploit to make things useful to society. History would tell you that scientists did a lot of engineering work in the earlier days (between 1700 and 1900 when a lot of development really happened in science and engineering).

Today, with the vastness of the different fields, science and engineering have separated . Now, scientists rarely take up engineering work. Nevertheless, I would say scientists play a greater role as they have to establish the basic facts for engineers to build upon.

Unfortunately, since the result of engineering is the one that fetches money, people have a craze for engineering. It is disheartening to see a Ph.D. student in science getting a lesser stipend than a Ph.D. student in engineering. It should have been the other way round. Any nation that ignores the role of science cannot survive in the long run.

MANAGEMENT STUDIES GOES WITH ENGINEERING

A degree in engineering followed by a degree in Management is the much sought-after combination. Again, a ‘myth' that engineering and management are related is at work. Engineering (with science as the basis) has nothing to do with management (which does not involve science). A lucrative salary is what attracts people to management studies.

Furthermore, most institutes do not introduce engineering in a proper way, leaving students without confidence to pursue higher education.

WE NEED MORE IITS

There are many IITs coming up, ostensibly to help the nation meet the requirement of engineers. Truly speaking, we have enough of engineers. Design, the work of engineers, requires just a few people.

The dearth is not in the number but in the quality of engineers we produce. It is enough if we are able to improve and maintain the quality of our institutes and retain the people graduating from them by creating ample opportunities for them to work in India with a good salary. It is better to improve and maintain the standards of the NITs, the IITs and other government institutes than creating newer ones and diluting the existing standards.

FOREIGN MNCS DO BEST R&D ENGINEERING

Foreign multinationals that claim to have research and development centres in India do not do real engineering work in the country, as it is natural for any company to have real product development on home soil.

Here again, the salary is what attracts people (thanks to the dollar-rupee conversion). This is a case of brain drain, in which the brains are hired not to work. Though many might not accept, the basic aim of the foreign MNCs is to utilise the cheap labour in the developing countries to run their manufacturing units; product development is not their primary goal.

People generally end up doing tasks that are not as challenging as is the work in smaller Indian industries trying to develop products of their own.

A B.E/B.TECH GRADUATE IS AN “ENGINEER”

With the vastness of technology, in the present day one cannot call oneself an engineer just on graduating. A B.E./B.Tech. graduate knows just the basics. I would say that post-graduation is a must. Or at least, one needs to work for a few years to understand and build engineering products. A lot of people believe that a B.E. graduate in aerospace would be able to build rockets on graduating. If it were so, there would be rockets flying everywhere!

I would advise people without an engineering background to talk to people who do real engineering work to take decisions before choosing the field for their children. The aim of education is not merely to land a high-paying job. It should empower you to find a suitable work for yourself.

An Article in The Hindu... Regarding the Myths of Engineering :)